1 Sugababes - Push The Button
Note how everyone's quoting that line about multi-dimensional asses without pointing out how overly hard it's trying despite that on record it sounds about as as sexy as David Mellor, which for all we know might be the intention. For one of the bands at the forefront of The New Proper Pop this does sound like something that might have come out at the end of the 90s, or at a pinch an Ann Summers Kosheen - the first time we saw the video we thought it was one of those workaday dance acts because nothing about it suggested the Sugababes - so how this one's become the popular one we're not totally sure.
2 Robbie Williams - Tripping
It was reported at the weekend that Robbie and Guy Chambers have patched up their differences, which isn't before time given that with Stephen Duffy he's so far come up with an Ultravox offcut and an attempt to cut and shut his own Supreme, the Police and Ja Rule's lyric book.
6 Kanye West Ft Jamie Foxx - Gold Digger
Funny how Minnie Driver and Juliette Lewis get stick for being film stars imagining this will make them successful in all forms of art whereas Foxx has virtually been ushered into a studio.
7 Bloc Party - Two More Years
Kele reassured fans last week that this is a standalone single that won't be used to shore up their next album. No, because it's been stuck on the end of Silent Alarm for its Deluxe Edition re-release next week. Oh, Wichita, Wichita, Wichita!
11 Ricky Martin - I Don't Care
Now there's a hostage to fortune title. The problem with Martin, as evidenced by the type of promo he's been doing, is that he now needs to be aimed at an older audience because he's been so long away kids are going to go "sorry, Livin' La what?"
12 Rachel Stevens - I Said Never Again (But Here We Are)
And so the universal music blog gnashing of teeth continues. It's been argued that people have turned against Stevens because of her image as someone who doesn't have a personality and would quite like to keep it that way - never mind going on Dick And Dom In Da Bungalow not expecting to be covered in muck muck, how do you fall out with a TV show (Popworld) made by a company co-owned by your manager? - but as we've seen, people have hardly fallen out with the notoriously prickly Sugababes. Instead we'd suggest that Polydor need to realise that Rachel's audience is divided into the people who buy and admire the records and the people who perv at the pictures when they'd spent a couple of years believing both to be indistinguishable.
16 James Blunt - High
Meanwhile You're Beautiful starts going back up, which is something of an own goal by Atlantic's radio pluggers. Gee, we wonder if Wisemen will be the next single?
23 Bratz Rock Angels - So Good
Bratz as in the dolls, yes, this being the spin-off of their straight to DVD film. Not enough session musician money in the world, we're saying. A few years ago the whole music industry seemed to be banking its future on virtual bands - Tom Watkins wouldn't shut up about his surfer cyberbabe at the turn of the century - but given not even Damon's pretending any more that Gorillaz are nothing to do with him it's boiled down to spinoff records. What happened to the Archies revival?
32 Schnappi - Schnappi
Originally scheduled for late August when it might actually have caught the returning from holiday market. As it was, not even JK & Joel could be bothered to launch an ironic campaign.
35 Bedouin Soundclash - When The Night Feels My Song