CHART OF DARKNESS: Stasis at the top of both lists, which allows the line to develop that the singles chart news of the week is the pre-eminence of Celebrity Big Brother over everything ever ever ever as proven, with Boys Will Be Boys up six to three and You Spin Me Round in at five ("Pete Burns must be the only person in the country who isn't happy (about it)" - Teletext; "Bollocks!" - the country). Lidl Usher Chris Brown enters between Biggie and Preston at 2, Ashlee Simpson goes the blogger-pleasing screechy pop-rock route at 12, the decline of interest in 50 Cent's self-appointed machismo continues as his single charts six below where his film got to in the UK box office at 7, professional babe magnet Lee Ryan's sideline gets him to 15, someone called Jesse McCartney is at 17, Bon Jovi find enough fans from somewhere to land at 19, the Go! Team's combination of be-crash helmeted TOTP prancing and TV soundtrack domination gets them to 26 and Mogwai make a top 40 debut at 38. Blunt, Young and, um, Chiefs all climb the album charts on the back of Brits mentions, Brassbound continues its own rise at 11 (how come GLC haven't had a noticeable sales spike?), Johnny Mathis actually climbs for some reason to 12 - god, not another easy listening revival - a Rod Stewart album appears from nowhere at 16, fellow housewife's favourite Michael Buble can only manage 25, Johnny Cash enters the top 30 for only the ninth time and most of those were compilations (At San Quentin got to number two, mind) and Isobel Campbell and Mark Lanegan make a truly surprising entry at 38. The Go! Team and Richard Hawley both make top 50 debuts while the post-ironic ELO revival only takes their latest Best Of to 55.
FREE MUSIC: There are those who say Neko Case is wasted on New Pornographers duties, a line of thought unlikely to be derailed by the gorgeous Star Witness from new album Fox Confessor Brings The Flood.
BARGAIN HUNT: Not a bargain at all, but an album that slipped past our In Shops radar undeservedly : The Gossip - Standing In The Way Of Control, Arkansas female-fronted soul-discopunk produced to an unbuffed shine by Fugazi's Guy Picciotto. Hear the title track and see what we mean.
HEY YOU GET OFFA MYSPACE: Early Autumn Break - passed on by our friends at The Laboratory Of Adult Rock, delicate harmonic new-folk from, almost implausibly, Dusseldorf.
VISUAL REPRESENTATION: Broken Social Scene on Conan via YouTube
EVERYBODY GET RANDOM: Haven't heard much from Irish DIY melodic post-hardcore heroes Jetplane Landing for a while but apparently they're studio bound, so get acquainted in advance from their well stocked download/audio index.
IN OTHER NEWS: We got linked on ILM. Do we get a medal for that?