1 Westlife - You Raise Me Up
Thirteen number ones. Thirteen. And how many can you name? Go on, hum Queen Of My Heart. Of course, they're pretty much as much a fanbase band as more credible acts now, albeit a much bigger fanbase, maybe one more aware than most that Daniel O'Donnell took it to number 22 in 2003 - it's six and a half years since their Keating-propelled launch, a generation or two in pop terms, but they're still plugging away at the pop shows, looking as out of place as an artrock band might have done five years ago. Stand up for the key change!
2 Arctic Monkeys - I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor
On the other hand, this story remains remarkable purely because the so-called rabid fanbase spike band is still up here three weeks in. Their first New York gig's just been upgraded too - watch those mp3 blogs, now!
3 Pharrell feat. Gwen Stefani - Can I Have It Like That
Well, even his supporters seemed to write this one off, and it was barely worth officially splitting N*E*R*D if all he's going to do is pedestrian beats. What did happen to the Great Sounding Like An Autechre Offcut Beats Revolution? And his restyling of himself as Skateboard P can fuck off too.
4 Craig David - Don't Love You No More
Welcomes Careful Hostages To Fortune. It can't be coincidental that his placings have improved as Leigh Francis has moved on.
9 Goldfrapp - Number 1
The Pac-Man style game on their website is fun, the Moroder stylings so now, the end product... well, with most of radio and advertising breaks still plugging away at Ooh La La it's hardly a surprise people have got summarily confused.
11 Rosetta Life feat. Billy Bragg - We Laughed
Not that this is about Bragg at all - if nothing else he's only on co-writing and guitar - but let the record state it's his eighth top 40 entry, his highest if you discount his contribution to the Childline single. He was good on Breakfast this morning too, talking about finding shared ground with the patients in Dolly Parton. Wonder how JK & Joel introduced this.
12 Bob Sinclar feat. Gary Nesta Pine - Love Generation
Still hanging around four weeks in as the label realise that they really did leave it too late.
14 Texas - Can't Resist
Must... resist... urge... This seems to have largely come out of the blue, as once the media have realised Sharleen hasn't been horribly disfigured they tend now to forget that other little thing in the equation. Much better position than the Corrs managed last week, though.
15 Eurythmics - I've Got A Life
Now, what was this? Lennox puts on a suit, Stewart cranks up the synths, the world wonders if they've got a repeat Greatest Hits out this week too (yes). As if to prove it's a losing battle, Sweet Dreams is the B-side.
16 Darren Hayes - So Beautiful
What did happen to the other one out of Savage Garden?
20 Fightstar - Grand Unification (part 1)
Part 1 in a Listen Without Prejudice or Trapped In The Closet sense? Referred to on last night's biggest selling artists of the millennium clutter as Charlie Simpson's solo project, which must have delighted all four of them, they're still badly treading that Busted fan/suspicious scenester line. Who'd dare drop them, though?
23 Kray Twinz - What We Do
Subtle name. Twista and Lethal Bizzle, two men with a history of reinterpreting everyone else's ideas, help join a party that's long blown out.
29 Status Quo - All That Counts Is Love
Which is odd given their recent publicity push - they've even got their own teleshopping advert now - and the traditional fanbase rush. Who'd really want to hear a Status Quo record called that?
36 Backstreet Boys - Just Want You To Know
Number eight last week!
39 Rakes - 22 Grand Job
Well, that was worth it. The idea behind this proper release must have been that this would finally be the record to take them to radio. No such luck.
58 Bob Marley & The Wailers - No Woman No Cry
That seems a baffling enough place to draw a veil over this week.