...AKA Where's Fruitbat When You Really Need Him?
* Keisha Sugababes waving at the camera and getting the biggest roar of their 'set'
* Billie Joe Armstrong getting a nomination for Most Fanciable Male
* Every one of Vernon Kay's lines making lead balloon-like
* Miquita Oliver declaring of Rachel Stevens "you just can't get enough of her", something her record company wish was true
* Steve Jones introducing Maggot from Goldie Lookin' Chain as what sounded like "Rhys"
* Miquita's "can I get a boo?", trying to channel UK garage hopefully ironically given nobody knew what that was
* Oliver referring to Back To The Future as "a 90s movie". We know she was barely born by the start of the 90s, but surely someone should have picked up on that one
* The sheer incongruity of Son Of Dork taking Hot New Talent ahead of bands who have actually released records
* The Boy Least Likely To clearly feeling horribly awkward, both for realising they'd been beaten in a popularity contest by the Lidl Thirteen Senses, Kubb, and just because they were there
* Ashley Cole looking like the most embarrassed man ever as he fulfilled his new role in life on Cheryl Tweedy's coat-tails