Sunday, April 02, 2006

Listing badly

To finish off this parade of all the stupidities, we might as well give 11-50 in the Q Worst Albums list the undeserved oxygen of publicity. Of course the list is only designed such so that people talk about it over the watercooler, but come on:

11. Limp Bizkit - Chocolate Starfish And The Hot Dog Flavored Water
Promoted by Q putting Fred Durst on the cover. Twice. If it's because nu-metal is now regarded as a silly style-driven passing fad, you might as well put Visage in the list.

12. Tom Jones - Mr Jones
13. Bruce Willis - The Return Of Bruno
14. Terence Trent D'Arby - Neither Fish Nor Flesh
15. Various - Sgt Pepper's Lonely Heart Club Band OST
16. Spice Girls - Forever
17. Bob Dylan & The Grateful Dead - Dylan And The Dead
18. Crazy Frog - Crazy Hits
Difficult targets, as you can tell.

19. Goldie - Saturnz Return
20. Mariah Carey - Glitter OST
Don't really recall this as being much different from the majority of her work but hey, she went all mad then, didn't she?

21. The Clash - Cut The Crap
22. Robson & Jerome - Robson & Jerome
23. Alanis Morissette - Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie
Again, different to Jagged Little Pill how? Oh yeah, several million less sales, and thus an easier target. Michael Bolton's big album sold ten million.

24. Lauryn Hill - MTV Unpugged 2.0
25. The Cranberries - To The Faithful Departed
26. Vanilla Ice - Hard To Swallow
27. Destiny's Child - Destiny Fulfilled

28. The Rolling Stones - Dirty Work
29. Various - Christmas In The Stars: Star Wars Christmas Album
30. Michael Jackson - Invincible
31. Stevie Wonder - Woman In Red
32. Ace Of Base - The Sign
Presumably the Culture Beat album never made it past import stage.

33. Billy Ray Cyrus - Some Gave All
34. Fischerspooner - #1
Yet no Sigue Sigue Sputnik's Flaunt It. How times move on.

35. Puff Daddy - Forever
36. Kula Shaker - Peasants, Pigs & Astronauts
37. Shania Twain - Come On Over
38. Chris Rea - The Road To Hell Pt 2
39. Big Country - Undercover
40. The Others - The Others
Ha ha!

41. Paul Simon - Songs From The Capeman
42. Babylon Zoo - The Boy With The X-Ray Eyes
43. The Travelling Wilburys - Vol 3
44. Kiss - Music From The Elder
45. William Shatner - The Transformed Man
Erm, if you want. It's not much different from that album of his everyone affected to like last year.

46. Oasis - Standing On The Shoulder Of Giants
Be Here Now's just too passe these days.

47. Ozzy Osbourne - Under Cover
48. Milli Vanilli - All Or Nothing
49. Neil Young And The Shocking Pinks - Everybody's Rocking
The album, lest we forget, that got him sued by his own label for unrepresentative work. We can't claim to be experts on early 80s Neil Young, or indeed entire back catalogue Neil Young, but we've heard a bit of his electronic album Trans and if this is considered worse it must be able to fell trees by its own musical force.

50. Beck - Midnite Vultures
And in what way is this bad? The album that features Sexx Laws and Mixed Bizness? We thought it was better than Odelay, which is why we'll never make this into a professional occupation.

By comparison, Classic Rock magazine has hit against the proliferation of Best UK Albums Ever lists by, well, compiling a Best UK Albums Ever list, although they forget to explain why U2 are in it. As expected, it makes no sense at all, forgetting its standpoint before the top ten is out. The White Album is more rocking than Sticky Fingers?


Ant said...

50. Beck - Midnite Vultures

Whaaat? Superb album, and yes I agree - superior to Odelay. I never though his songwriting was strong enough for the acoustic balladeer approach. But coupled with exciting, gigglesome production... it's a winner.

bb said...

I agree with you that most of these albums were bad, but among the ones that really were not was Mariah's Glitter album. If you'd only forget about the hoopla and bad press , u'd see that it is a very well put together alboum. Her voice and vocal varieties are amazing. It's a work of art. Her Glitter movie having had came out on Sep.11 did not help. The movie was not cool, but the album is really good. Stop being a bandwagon member

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