Friday, November 18, 2005

Norway men

As part of our international music blog community spirit, and because we mentioned the chart the other week, the Norwegian singles top 20:

20 Katie Melua - Nine Million Bicycles
They've never heard of Simon Singh out there. We were watching Fizz, that odd Sky music selection channel between U and The Amp, the other day for the first time in a while and this was on twice in three videos.

19 Crazy Frog - Axel F
Note those new Jamster Frog adverts which feature a great big 'NO SUBSCRIPTION' graphic. It's not making anyone like it better.

18 Westlife - You Raise Me Up
Not even the popists will go as far as supporting this.

17 Paperboys - Keep It Cool
It's Atari's house band! They wear matching yellow caps and blue tops and throw rolled up newspapers into the fans! Not really, it's some sort of Norwegian R&B act.

16 McKompis - Internatet
A song about interns using the Internet. Possibly.

15 t.A.t.U - All About Us
Maybe a faux-lesbian angle would prop up their sales.

14 Alejandro Fuentes - Stars
It's not so easy, this trans-continental sarcasm lark. We found the lyrics to this on a blog and started wondering if David Sneddon's lyrics were all that bad.

13 Amy Diamond - What's In It For Me
This meanwhile must surely be an old Mary J Blige out-take. Although home grown she was born in England, which explains the name. She'll being aimed at the international market sooner rather than later, which explains the title. Voice identity ahoy!

12 Hurra Torpedo - Total Eclipse Of The Heart
Billed as "the world's leading kitchen appliance rock group" - put that in your pipes and smoke it, Einsturzende Neubauten - a Nowegian viral hit incorporating stove abuse, matching tracksuits and, you'd hope, irony.

11 Daisy - Weird
Insert fact-starved reference to Daisy Chainsaw here.

10 A-Ha - Celice
We did think it was about time for their irregular comebacks, always well-meaning but always foundering on the rocks of Morten's cheekbones.

9 Robbie Williams - Tripping
Rare is the documentary where all five central participants end up coming out of it looking bad.

8 Mattafix - Big City Life
Ah, that's where they're big names! Really, the press must stop going on about them until someone shows signs of proper interest.

7 Rihanna - Pon De Replay
That's what Chasetown were missing.

6 Baracuda - Ass Up EP
This can only spell trouble. Some dance thing, FWIW.

5 Bratz Rock Angels - So Good
Clearly Scandinavians are more susceptible to singing dolls than we are.

4 Sugababes - Push The Button
See, how many ways can you be taller in without getting comparative?

3 Kent - The Hjärta & Smärta EP
The Swedish Coldplay, even before Coldplay existed - some may remember their hard working but failing attempts to crack Britain throughout much of the late 90s.

2 Pussycat Dolls - Don't Cha
Straight onto the ballad with the second single? What's going on?

1 Madonna - Hung Up
A bona fide what they used to call international hit, then, still looking unbecoming of her. Meanwhile Wall Of Sound are shoving as much Les Rhythmes Digitales stuff out as possible, which maybe they should have thought more about at the time.


if said...

Aren't Kent Swedish?
Still, fascinating all round

Simon said...

You're right, I got confused. People who didn't catch this before the face-saving edit, you've missed out.

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