Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Brits in pieces

We don't think you can deny that tonight the ambitions of the UK music scene and its televised output got on like a house on fire.

All its possessions were destroyed and it was forced to escape by jumping out of a top floor window.

There's something very Whileyfied about a ceremony that gives the Foo Fighters two awards when even the Eagles seemed a more cutting edge bet. Even besides that, as a basic television spectacle it suffered engine failure on takeoff. The Osbournes, even for a booking made on the basis of a reality TV show of six years ago which was a success due to its extreme dysfunctionality and involving someone who has had live chat shows on both sides of the Atlantic cancelled, flatlined from the off, and nowhere was it stated in the pre-publicity that Kelly (reusing the short, dark haired look Madonna had for about three weeks in 1993) and Jack (just after finding work as a professional Jack Penate lookalike) would be co-presenting. ITV gracefully helped with the lamest swear filter in television history, slowing the video down for a couple of seconds just in case the edit necessity wasn't obvious. Will Young set new standards for bad autocue reading, while Jonathan Rhys Meyers looked like not so much just out of rehab as still in the centre as withdrawl kicks in. David Tennant presenting an award to Kylie? Who'd have thought. Performance wise, the much anticipated Rihanna vs Klaxons turned out to be a mashup straight outta 2002 where neither seemed to know what the other was really doing. Amy was if not all over the shop then certainly indecisive given a choice of aisles, but you expect that at this stage.

The Arctic Monkeys were the great domestic achievers, come in comedy gear which didn't sit well when they were subject to unironic champagne spraying, and Alex hadn't thought his props through. They did however take a full role in the five minutes when the whole edifice crumbled and slowly collapsed, beginning with Vic Reeves wandering on to finish his TV career by being in a public place many, many sheets to the wind with only a vague idea of what he was doing there. When cut back to from the nomination tape, he was embroiled in a spectacularly undignified commotion with an openly abusive Sharon. On pretty much live TV to the nation of millions. What the situation needed was a calming influence: what it got was an even more pissed Alex Turner extemporising, seemingly to himself, about the Brit School and Blazin' Squad until the emergency DAT cut him off. We'd hate to have been the floor manager reading the script that said Ozzy had the next announcement, and sure enough there he was to, Look Around You style, introduce "Mr Sir Paul McCartney" about three minutes early. Macca did Dance Tonight, like anyone cares, and a participatory Hey Jude, but you knew he would.

So what have we learned? The Brits school is now everything, the summit of British music in 2007 is a band that split up in 1996 and you'll never be able to watch Big Night Out in the same way again. All of which leaves one question: who was the bloke behind Kate Nash as she rose from her table, preparing to attempt to introduce the unappreciative Brit School crowd (and her alumni) to Riot Grrl concepts, wearing a crombie hat with some sort of pipe in his mouth, then?


Jason said...

thanks for that. they put it on the tube a bloddy day late here in canada.. on CBC.. i saw some good parts on youtube tho..

Anonymous said...

At least Will Young read his piece clearly and precisely. He sometimes wears spectacles so he might have not been able to see the autocue very well.

He should have been singing instead of some of the dire acts which were on. He would be much more relaxed then.

Anonymous said...

成人電影,情色,本土自拍, 美女交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人貼圖, 成人電影, A片, 豆豆聊天室, 聊天室, UT聊天室, 尋夢園聊天室, 男同志聊天室, UT男同志聊天室, 聊天室尋夢園, 080聊天室, 080苗栗人聊天室, 6K聊天室, 女同志聊天室, 小高聊天室, 情色論壇, 色情網站, 成人網站, 成人論壇, 免費A片, 上班族聊天室, 成人聊天室, 成人小說, 微風成人區, 色美媚部落格, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人論壇, 情色聊天室, 寄情築園小遊戲, AV女優,成人電影,情色,本土自拍, A片下載, 日本A片, 麗的色遊戲, 色色網, ,嘟嘟情人色網, 色情網站, 成人網站, 正妹牆, 正妹百人斬, aio,伊莉, 伊莉討論區, 成人遊戲, 成人影城,
免費A片, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網,
日本A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友, 本土自拍, 免費A片下載, 性愛,
成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, aV, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片,成人電影,情色,本土自拍,