CHART OF DARKNESS: So that'll be bowing to the inevitable, and Myspace star - did you visit her Myspace before LDN started getting press attention? - Lily Allen has a number one single, so here come all the tabloid inches devoted to her "shock" (and self-admitted long ago) drug phase and such 'ex-wild child' gubbins. Obviously, we're more interested in how this is only the long lasting Regal's third top 40 single. Razorlight spend so long winding others up they forget about advancing the sound much at 3, Paolo Nutini leads the charge of the mini-Blunts at 5 and Bob Sinclar releases much the same song again but without the whistling at 9. George Michael seems convinced that it's his electro side that we're all dying to hear again and pays the price at 18, the evil spectre of Rogue Traders - named after the Ewan McGregor Is Nick Leeson film! - appears on downloads at 18 and Justice vs Simian underperform horribly for all the years of club play it's had at 20. Jamie T gives John Betjeman a chart debut at a more than creditable 22, our new bestest friends ever the Pipettes hit 26, Jose Gonzalez comes to terms with how people only wanted him for his bouncy Sony Bravia balls at 29, the Rifles and that bloke with the stupid hat are at 32 and, ha ha, Fall Out Boy can only manage 38. Where's your teen rebellion power chords now, eh?
Inevitably Muse, who may actually inflate and be as big as a planet if they keep going at this rate, are number one by a mile, but be scared as the Kooks and Zutons are closing in at 2 and 3. Johnny Cash's first top ten album of new material since 1972 is at 9 (he's only had two in the top 40 since too), a hundredweight of chart-based message board users take Shakira up to 12 and another Radio 2-endorsed vision appears at 16 in bearded modern folkie Ray Lamontagne.
FREE MUSIC: This isn't a new record at all, but it is a band we hear bandied about as a lost gem from time to time. The reason they're lost, of course, is that they're called +/- and nobody's going to get behind a band called that. They've got a fourth album on the way in autumn, but until then from 2004's You Are Here, here's the pre-emo delicate electronica, like Ben Gibbard playing with both his bands at once, of I've Been Lost.
HEY YOU GET OFFA MYSPACE: Los Campesinos!, a septet who seem to be carrying on a small scale Cardiff obsession this section is accidentally developing, have already been around pretty much the entire mp3 blogosphere twice since Nothing But Green Lights picked up on them about a week ago, making them perhaps the fastest Internet sensation in history. Still, what's a little late bandwagon jumping between friends, because they're a band many will grow to adore. In the space of first track You! Me! Dancing! we noted down the names of Architecture In Helsinki, My Latest Novel, Ooberman, Thunderbirds Are Now!, Heavenly, Broken Social Scene, Orange Juice, Khaya and Les Incompetents. If that's not for you the other three tracks up, which are all downloadable, play in the fields of twisted guitar pop, early Delgados hidden lo-fi grandeur and the thought that they'd be fantastic live. So, maybe not for the Bolt-Thrower fans, but perfect for this summery feel that's come over us all of late.
VISUAL REPRESENTATION: More Top Of The Pops top poppery, this one seemingly filmed with a high quality video camera off the set. It's one of our favourite clips of all time, the Associates doing Club Country, Billy Mackenzie with a louche approach to miming into his silver mike, and it's preceded by DLT counting down from 30 to 21. 13th May 1982, this was.
FALLING OFF A BLOG: There was a slew just after Peelie died of tribute mp3 blogs but most seemed to get bored or fall off the web for undisclosed personal reasons. Maybe it's The Man getting to them. Bolting all windows hurredly is The Furtive Fifty, which attempts in a slightly askew way to pull together every Festive 50 charter ever in big old RapidShared files.
EVERYBODY GET RANDOM: Strobe lighting warning, as well as fast-rushing visual effects warning and fast-cut colour refraction warning, as Tremelo brings a pile of My Bloody Valentine videos webwards.
IN OTHER NEWS: Heartening news from the documentary film circuit this week as there's going to be one about Joe Meek, Something I've Got To Tell You: A Life In The Death Of Joe Meek. Everyone surely knows the outline of the story - electronics obsessed, I Hear A New World, Johnny Remember Me, Telstar, inventing everything that it now takes expensive equipment to do, shot his landlady then himself. To see that all fleshed out with contributions from family, friends, musicians, Humphrey Lyttelton, Alex Kapranos, Edwyn Collins, Jake Arnott and seemingly half the world's population, only some of whom are represented on this Myspace page's trailer, would be quite something.