Albums Of The Year: Number 6

More people think they have a handle on what it is that Saint Etienne do than actually could spell it out. Once they were almost dismissed as kitsch well before the ironists picked up on the term and held it aloft as their banner, by which time they'd serenely moved through house, glam futurism, widescreen pop, every major musical movement to have come out of Detroit before this century and even faceless Italian rave (as Cola Boy). Oh, and then they went all orchestral tropicalia and easy listening Krautrock. A cheery concept album about inner city life was always the inevitable step forwards. The trick messrs Stanley, Wiggs and Cracknell have pulled off is to avoid the twin traps of patronisation and overglamorisation. This is Saint Etienne. Neither would ever be on the agenda.

The glory of Tales From Turnpike House is that despite being indebted in parts to French chanson, casual Eurohouse that ought to make the entire output of AATW Records redundant at a stroke, harmonies from around Brian Wilson's sandpit and the new Scandinavian electro scenesters, it remains resolutely British. Londonist, in fact, packed out with metropolitain melodrama, situated not in the Notting Hill penthouse fame brings or down among the deadbeat men spilling out of the pub but in the decaying pre-fab flats and expanses of East London wasteland their two recent films have glorified. You know, where actual people with real lives live. From Sun In My Morning to Goodnight, titles which kind of spoil the story arc timeline, this is a less electronically inclined work, although Brian 'Xenomania' Higgins pops by with his bag full of spotwelded computerised hooks, using acoustic guitars and glacial atmospheres to create rounded characters and situations, using Pete and Bob's journalistic experience to document fictional lives being led in a real sense. They've gone and wrongfooted us all again after all, and we're glad.

LISTEN IN: Milk Bottle Symphony
EXTRA FEATURE: As mentioned, Bob and Pete have been making films of late

Albums Of The Year: Number 7

It's funny, but for the majority of 2005 it's been evident that certain people can't wait to trigger a Bloc Party backlash. The Bravery eventually came along and diverted their attention, but for a while there parts of the media were looking for a post-punk revival sacrificial lamb and their name came up quite a bit. Which is odd, as nothing blazed a trail right through the middle of the self appointed scene quite like Silent Alarm, an album crackling with tension, unafraid to make itself look big, yet knowing the value of a good hook as much as how to take a sudden left turn into dissonance. It sounds like a group of men each with their own ideas on jagged dynamism thrown together and told not to come out until they've come up with something that sounds in any way together. Out of that has come a record confident in its own component parts while rearing up with its own private idea of adventure.

They can use an effects box well too, as opener Like Eating Glass proves before developing into a driving statement of intent. In fact, the whole album is decorated with moments which define the song they house by how they take it to the next level of emotional pull. For example, many saw Helicopter as a political statement (Kele denies this) wrapped in self consciously arty clothes, but for our money the bit that is occasionally referred to as the bridge where one guitar apparently gets stuck during a glissando, the other adds flourishes on the theme of the riff, then suddenly band MVP Matt Tong slips up a couple more gears and everyone frantically races each other to the end might be the single most exciting moment produced in at least British music during the year. Even the slower songs glisten with mini-electrical storms and sophistication remaining tantalisingly unresolved, making it at once an album that floats above the clouds and plummets through them at high speed. And yes, at the end of the year everyone seems to have realised it's any good after all.

LISTEN IN: Positive Tension
EXTRA FEATURE: The secret world of bassist Gordon Moakes - he can talk all he likes now, but we've discovered his Shellac-reviewing past (we suspect he doesn't have that email address any more) Meanwhile Tong lists his own favourite albums of 2005 for Filter, until he runs out and starts making up bandnames.

Merry Christmas to all our readers

Let Mocking Music provide your soundtrack

Albums Of The Year: Number 8

Let's not beat about the bush, Mew made the best album of 2003. The Danish invaders created a playground for classic Scandinavian slow-burning pop suss on one side and Kevin Shields' distortion pedals on the other and let them fight to the death. Michael Stipe invited them on tour, Helena Christiansen took their photos, Brian McFadden introduced She Came Home For Christmas on CD:UK Hotshots and almost seemed interested in what he was saying, and it briefly looked like they were about to make an entry into the wider pop consciousness, albeit through a narrow side door. So what do they do next? Why, a near hour-long exploration into angular indie-prog boasting lyrics with only a passing acquaintance with the English language as we speak it, sporting no breaks between tracks, called And The Glass Handed Kites, and saddled with the cover you see above. The band bookers for the Smash Hits Poll Winners Party looked elsewhere.

So the linking devices between songs don't work all that well - it's alright, second track Chinaberry Tree could have had a minute and a half cut off its 3:30 duration and nobody would mind - but over time it begins to make an odd sort of sense. Producer Michael Beinhorn has worked with everyone from Korn to Herbie Hancock and brings to the affair the feel of a band piling everything on top of everything else until the moment it starts to shake, ultra-taut bass underpinning Thurston Moore's guitars (guest J Mascis would understand) and atmospheric synths topped with Jonas Bjerre's skyscraping vocals and sometimes seemingly in two time signatures at once. Then comes a truckload of melody, the move from Apocalypso's intra-band staredown to Special's pop melody to The Zookeeper's Boy's stately heaviness summing up the album as much as how the album suddenly turns into Sigur Ros right at the end. It's art-pop, but not as the charts would understand it.

LISTEN IN: The Zookeeper's Boy
EXTRA FEATURE: Wessex Scene get that EXCLUSIVE interview

Advent Calendar Of Music: Day 24

Go-Betweens - Here Comes A City

In Word's (oh, alright, The Word) Word Of Mouth section the other month Luke Haines said he'd fallen for the Go-Betweens' ninth and latest album of literate indie Oceans Apart solely on the basis of this opening track. There are few people we trust more than Haines, which is ironic because he'd probably hate nothing more, but we'd have hoisted it high anyway as as good an end to this Advent Calendar series as any. It's called Oceans Apart, by the way

Sons Of Harry Cross "smiling through gritted teeth" - reports

The OneMusic strand on Radio 1 was set up to keep the Peel flame alive, although as Andy Kershaw, a man never noted for kowtowing to his paymasters, has noted it says a lot about both sides that John has been replaced by three men. They've done a Festive 50 for this year, which we hope Rob Da Bank and/or Huw Stephens carried through in full by keeping a longhand tally of votes, featuring Kate Bush's first ever appearance, a surprisingly low Half Man Half Biscuit turnout, a top three entry reminiscent of the Peel-angering storming of the list by Smells Like Teen Spirit in 1992 and a surprise number one for a track given away free on their site, which comes in handy here, from a Liverpool indie scene veteran also making a 50 debut:

50 Richie Hawtin - The Tunnel
49 Fleeing New York - Hollywood Bowl
48 Architecture in Helsinki - Do The Whirlwind
47 Benjamin Zephaniah - Rong Radio Station
46 Stabmaster Vinyl - Masho Fe Lan Star
45 Deerhoof - Green Cosmos
44 Wax Audio - Imagine
43 Mugstar - My Baby Skull Has Not Yet Flowered
42 Kate Bush - King Of The Mountain
41 Suicidal Birds - Me Animal
40 Son Of Dave - Goddamn
39 Go! Team - Bottle Rocket
38 Art Brut - Emily Kane
37 Delgados - Girls Of Valour
36 Acid Casuals - Bowl Me Over
35 Aluminum Babe - Everything 2 Me
34 Decoration - I Tried It, I Liked It, I Loved It
33 Cuban Boys - The Nation Needs You
32 The Fall - I Can Hear The Grass Grow
31 The Wedding Present - I’m From Further North Than You
30 Mother & The Addicts - Take The Lovers Home Tonight
29 The Fall - What About Us
28 DJ Scotch Egg - Tetris Wonderland
27 Radio Luxembourg - Pwer Y Fflwe
26 Kid Carpet - Your Love
25 Jegsy Dodd - All I Ever Wanted Was You
24 65 Days of Static - Drove Through Ghosts To Get Here
23 Malcolm Middleton - Break My Heart
22 Anthony & The Johnsons - Hope There's Someone
21 Pipettes - Dirty Mind
20 Rory McVicar - Little One
19 Half Man Half Biscuit - Joy Division Oven Gloves
18 Hunting Lodge - Don't Touch My Neck
17 Autochtone - The Last Thing She Ever Said
16 Misty's Big Adventure - The Story Of Love
15 DJ Riko - Whistler's Delight
14 The Fall - Blindness
13 Listen With Sarah - Another Nice Mix
12 Evils - Pig F***er
11 Paranormal - Movin' Twistin' Groovin'
10 Laura Cantrell - Bees
9 Steveless - Bored
8 12Apostles - Lord Lucan Is Still Missing (Ollo's Betty & Freddy Queenspiracy Mix)
7 Camera Obscura - I Love My Jean
6 Early Years - All The Ones And Zeros
5 Arcade Fire - Rebellion (Lies)
4 King Creosote - Klutz
3 Arctic Monkeys - I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor
2 The Crimea - Lottery Winners On Acid
1 Jegsy Dodd & The Original Sinners - Grumpy Old Men

Albums Of The Year: Number 9

The only time we've seen Sons And Daughters was outside at a festival. An overcast, sporadically wet festival, but that's not good enough. The place where The Repulsion Box yields its best results would seem to be somewhere dank, forbidding and possibly haunted. You might recall Sons And Daughters as the Franz-approved band attempting to merge punk-funk with alt-country on their Love The Cup mini-album. This album found an alternate way of realising the dilemma, taking in the intense junkyard blues of PJ Harvey circa Dry or the Birthday Party, garage rock's unrelenting rhythms and the taut tension of a Come On Pilgrim-era Pixies. Some things remain unchanged - Adele Bethel and Scott Paterson often sounded like they'd be at each other's throats if they weren't performing, it's just now they want to be at ours too.

So yes, opener Medicine sounds like Yummy Yummy Yummy I've Got Love In My Tummy, but as played in an articulated lorry speeding over traffic calming devices. On Choked Paterson makes a slide guitar sound like prime Sonic Youth, while Rama Lama extends over five minutes, incorporates Morricone whistling against an often minimal backing and still retains the air of slow decay somewhere underground. Now imagine all this fronted by two people with Glaswegian accents and audible sneers. You perhaps see what we mean about their incompatibility with outdoor performances now. Going hell for leather at everything, barely keeping itself under control for three minutes at a time, if it went on for any more than its 31 minutes it'd become far too overwhelming, as it is settling for mere claustrophobia, the band pinning themselves back to the wall by the sheer force of their playing. That great crossover potential will just have to wait its turn while the rest of us get lost in the tidal wave of mutant country punk rockabilly.

LISTEN IN: Red Receiver
EXTRA FEATURE: Channel 4's Ideas Factory gets, well, ideas from Paterson

Advent Calendar Of Music: Day 23

Ben Watt featuring Estelle - Pop A Cap In Yo' Ass

No, come back. This is former Everything But The Girl musical stander at the back Watt's excursion into beats with poetry, here a story of a single mum and unruly kid read by the one time big hope of female British rap over something approximating vintage Chicago house. From the Outspoken EP, all part of Watt's Buzzin' Fly project

The only chart that counts (6/6)

We hear Nizlopi sold almost 50k in the first two days of this week, so let's not think Walsh and his minions can ensure a Christmas chart carve-up this year, this will be a real battl...eh? What? Oh. Ah well. In 2000, the last of our Christmas chart recaps, television also beat individualism to the festive summit, albeit in a very different sense:

1 Bob The Builder - Can We Fix It?
Everyone's seemingly forgotten how big Bob was at this time, when celebrities were allegedly queueing up to voice characters and people even learned to like Neil Morrissey. A bit. Voiced by someone else in the US on Nick Jr, apparently.

2 Eminem featuring Dido - Stan
So what happened was every review of The Marshall Mathers LP mentioned this as the song that turned the man's public perception on its head in style, which was fine. Then Jo Whiley picked up on it and eventually the label were badgered into putting it out as a single, leading to a) alleged Eminem quotes in the Mirror dissing the above and b) White Flag by Dido. We've not forgiven her for the acting in the video yet.

3 S Club 7 - Never Had A Dream Come True
See, Rachel did sell records once. This had been their second number one, aided by big white coats in the video. What did happen to Paul's nu-metal band he left to pursue the dreams for?

4 Robbie Williams - Supreme
The one with the video about his rivalry with Jackie Stewart. Why Jackie Stewart? He promoted it with an appearance on Jools, during which he was due to deliver a heartfelt seated acoustic lament until preceding band At The Drive-In stole and broke his seat.

5 Baha Men - Who Let The Dogs Out
Usually they dealt in a type of Bahamian folk called, excellently, 'junkanoo'. Somehow it's difficult to imagine the Incredible String Band going all calypso disco with a song based on an advertising jingle.

6 Leann Rimes - Can't Fight The Moonlight
Her sole number one, from the appalling film Coyote Ugly, and the sort of thing it's worth citing whenever you hear praise for the 80s production values revival manque.

7 Destiny's Child - Independent Women Part 1
So then, Beyonce or Guy?

8 Public Domain - Operation Blade
"Bass in the place, London!" Yeah, that. Later made a record with Chuck D, which is we believe the universal rule of oneupmanship can work in reverse might explain why Flavor Flav did The Farm.

9 Tweenies - Number 1
Number 6, actually, haw haw haw haw haw. The first of five top 40 singles for Iain Lauchlin's oversized preschool behemoths, once interviewed on Danny Baker's BBC London breakfast show, wherein Milo launched into Smoke On The Water.

10 Brave Kylie Minogue - Please Stay
This caused very minor controversy when released instead of Your Disco Needs You, a track that seemingly attempts to prove on its own that the only music gay men like is disco.

11 Britney Spears - Stronger
When people still liked her and she wasn't going hilariously insane with such diva-esque lunatic actions like driving a car, buying groceries and calling her new born boy Sean.

12 Wyclef featuring Mary J Blige - 911
You have to wonder why the Fugees are touring again - no, none of them seem bothered about hitmaking any more, but given everyone knows they hate each other and Fugees live gigs were never the most solid proposition the first time round it can't augur well.

13 Madonna - Don't Tell Me
The video that singlehandedly failed to launch a cowboy gear fashion fad.

14 Craig - At This Time Of Year
Shortly after winning the first Big Brother Craig Phillips signed a five album deal with WEA. Craig Phillips was signed by a major label to a five album deal, who then declared "I do not sign people to five-album deals just because they were in a popular TV series. I have signed Craig because he is very talented singer and fans will buy his records because of that." That's why nobody trusts major labels with their money. At least it's 59 places up on Nichola, whose disco placenta The Game couldn't even make an impact when released straight after the event. Holt was recently discovered to be selling her body to men of a night.

15 Craig David - Walking Away
Still thought of as two-step at this stage. What fools we all look in retrospect.

16 Da Muttz - Wassup
Nothing says 2000 more than people going "wasssuuuuup?" in offices. You wouldn't think you'd be able to fit much of a tune around it, but... well, evidently not.

17 Westlife - My Love
"With this single, Westlife equalled The Beatles' record of most number ones for consecutive releases (seven). They become the first act to debut at no.1 with all of their first seven singles. ITV 'Song Of The Year' 2000." (EveryHit). Louis Walsh bought a car with a bigger boot.

18 Sonique - I Put A Spell On You
Famously began by singing over the breaks she was spinning as a big shot DJ, which you wouldn't accept from anyone if not monged on happy pills. Eventually became dancefloor diva. Now mostly forgotten. There's not even any superclubs for her to go back and play at.

19 Wu-Tang Clan - Gravel Pit
A track so big it came with its own traction, it survived interpolating a Cameo song that isn't the famous one. Of course ODB's releasing posthumous new albums.

20 Sisqo - Incomplete
Thong Song lothario who apparently has been stepping out with Samantha Mumba of late, presumably happy talking about the old days.

21 Storm - Storm Animal

22 Toploader - Dancing In The Moonlight
Have they gone yet?

23 Ronan Keating - The Way You Make Me Feel
24 Warp Brothers Vs Aquagen - Phatt Bass

25 Billie Piper - Walk Of Life
Here's how a life in the spotlight works. This was the first single for which Billie introduced her surname fully into proceedings. As this was a new entry, she was dropped afterwards. During the promotion she met Chris Evans. Had she not had her singing career curtailed but her fame quotient subsequently increased, she probably wouldn't have had the opportunity to start acting. Had she not started acting, the country would be openly laughing at Jennifer Ellison for thinking she could be a Dr Who actress.

26 Ricky Martin - She Bangs
They're not big on double entrende in Puerto Rica.

27 Green Day - Warning
Punk Levellers, they said of this sound. Billie Joe seems to have taken it literally.

28 Daft Punk - One More Time
This was about the point at which we realised that yes, we were alone in hating this. Don't worry, we're used to it.

29 Jay-Z - I Just Wanna Love You
30 Artful Dodger featuring Lifford - Please Don't Turn Me On
31 Bon Jovi - Thank You For Loving Me
32 Bomfunk MC's - Up Rocking Beats
33 Darude - Feel The Beats
34 Lionel Richie - Don't Stop The Music
35 Kandi - Don't Think I'm Not

36 Keith'n'Shane - Girl You Know It's True
Duffy and Lynch, the boozy sidemen of Boyzone, essentially taking the piss but forgetting to tell anyone they were doing so. Is Shane still racing sportscars quite well?

37 Robbie Williams & Kylie Minogue - Kids
They never went out, of course. Like they used to say Kylie and Jason never dated.

38 A1 - Same Old Brand New You
One of those boy bands that seemed ten a penny in the late 90s except they managed two number ones from somewhere, this being the second. Then they started playing their instruments, shortly before - go on, guess - getting dropped. Ben Adams was supposed to be the next Robbie earlier this year, promptly heading exactly the same way as every other next Robbie.

39 True Party - Whazzup
Isn't it always so annoying to be beaten to the punch?

40 Melanie C - If That Were Me
"I couldn't live without my phone/But you don't even have a home". And she wonders why nobody takes her solo career seriously any more. We'll also mention Outkast's ridiculous, much hyped Bombs Over Baghdad peaking at 61 and think that, you know, we must do all this again some time.

A public service announcement

If you haven't already had an email from us about a little thing we're doing for the end of the year and are sufficiently intrigued, email us ASAP. If you're not bothered but think we're great, why not email us anyway. That's sweepingthenation(at)dsl.pipex.com

Albums Of The Year: Number 10

Brakes ahead of the parent group British Sea Power? Believe us, we gave it quite a bit of thought before deciding that Eamon Hamilton needed promoting from be-beaniehatted keyboard tickler and big drum whacker to superior leader of what nobody really refers to as an indie supergroup given the Electric Soft Parade haven't sold any records for three years or so and the Tenderfoot never did. (Yeah, but we're willing to utilise the phrase for Zumpano/Destroyer/Neko Case And Her Boyfriends collaboration at 14. Never mind.) Why? Because, frankly, it's a lot of fun and, for an album that glories in its being tossed off in a week, there's a lot more thought going into it than there has been in a lot of the year's more diligently planned releases.

Essentially Give Blood is two mini-albums cut and shut together. One is an excursion into country stylings that comes across like a good white wine laced with strychnine. Over here guitars slide and twang, the Duke Spirit's Liela Moss drops by for a spirited run through Johnny and June Carter Cash's Jackson, the Pipettes turn the Jesus And Mary Chain's Sometimes Always into funpop and the effect is Ryan Adams being dragged towards a buzzsaw. The other album? That channels the spirits of the Minutemen, Jonathan Richman, McLusky and Sam Kinison, and then compresses it all into a tiny cube of musical scrap metal, as in metallic guitar sounds looking for a scrap. Didn't like the ten second Cheney? Try the five second Comma Comma Comma Full Stop. That's before we've got onto the liquidised DFA of All Night Disco Party or the way the end of Heard About Your Band singlehandedly vindicates the phrase "whatever, dude!" As a rule, the tracks either make no sense or lacerate everyone else they can think of. Eamon's mission accomplished.

LISTEN IN: Heard About Your Band
EXTRA FEATURE: Eamon explains himself to SoundsXP

Advent Calendar Of Music: Day 22

M83 - Don't Save Us From The Flames

Two years ago M83 sounded like Mogwai with all their other instruments replaced with analogue synths. Now they sound like Kevin Shields being forcefed 1967 Pink Floyd by Slint. We hope you understand. Before The Dawn Heals Us is the sort of record that does that to our critical faculties

Albums Of The Year: Number 11

In the parts of the music discussion Internet world seemingly designed to ward off the casual browser there's been something of a sustained backlash against M.I.A. "Class tourist political figurehead say-nothing art fraud!" they chorus. When Galang '05 was discussed on 6 Music's Roundtable review show, the concensus was that it was too wrapped up in its own political stance, whatever form that stance was taking in the song as at least one panellist admitted they couldn't make out its message. Yeah, cheers. Incidentally, that's her biggest single to date, which was also accompanied by a Mercury nomination, Radio 1 playlisting and a Jo Whiley session, acres of newsprint, daytime music TV exposure and style magazine wall to wall features. It peaked at number 77. It's not difficult music to get a handle on, certainly in a market that has embraced less voluble versions of its second cousin grime. Mind you, even ultrapop behemoths Girls Aloud stopped selling records the moment web reviews started reading "actually, this is great!"

So what is Arular? It's grooved out hip hop, reggaeton, glitchpop, favela funk, Neneh Cherry moves, and at the centre a dynamo running off the pure energy of what surrounds her. Bringing lyrical imagery of the land of Sri Lanka at a particularly volatile point of its recent history and melding it with cod-Jamaican slang and pure London girl sass, making for a genuinely thrilling ride, allied to which is the sort of production backup that emphasises its rollercoaster nature, whether the Fat Truckers' Ross Orton playing his usual electro games or Diplo turning the Rocky theme horns into pure baile funk. Fire Fire namedrops both Timbaland and the Pixies, and it's not hard to see Arular making its own connections between Missy Elliott broken beats and controlled ferocity as played on Roland 505s rather than Joey Santiago's Les Paul. And really, isn't the whole political angle overplayed by people willing to take the background laid out on her press releases and run towards the nearest point marked 'cheap controversy pointscoring'? But again, we're getting confused between the artist's supposed artifice and the songs, and you don't hear artist information sheets being read out at clubs.

LISTEN IN: Fire Fire
EXTRA FEATURE: Elastica's video for difficult second album single Mad Dog (dir: Arulpragasam, M)

Advent Calendar Of Music: Day 21

Rilo Kiley - Portions For Foxes

The singer was in assorted pre-teen films and (briefly) Pleasantville, the guitarist appeared in My Two Dads and Boy Meets World. You wouldn't get away with it were you the British equivalent (Press Gang and The Upper Hand, let's say). Did More Adventurous come out in 2004 in America? Ah, who cares.

Albums Of The Year: Number 12

We were vaguely aware of Patrick Wolf's reputation as the urchin child - proper urchin, not Pete Doherty wearing ragged jackets - of the electrofolk scene but were struggling to fully get it until we saw him live. Shorn of anything eminating from a laptop, we were won completely over by the oddly approached but meaningful songwriting and sheer, well, musicianship, if that doesn't put too many off. Wolf studied composition at the Trinity College Music Conservatoire and it was here that it showed - whereas so many who play in the shifting genre of electrowhatever value the glitchpop over the melody, these songs have light and shade, completely in control of their own dynamics, blood running through their theoretical veins. The songs are never crowded, which allows his own elliptical worldview to take centre stage. When he sang The Shadowsea live acapella, the rest of the room, in no mean feat, turned deathly quiet.

Wind In The Wires was recorded in Cornwall and it sounds like it, or at least a short story version of it, beyond naming tracks Teignmouth and Land's End - windswept, overcast and inhabited by characters beset with wistfulness edged out by some form of seasonal afflictive disorder. Whatever bad place Wolf found himself in while writing has fed into a set of songs founded against whatever life has thrown at the narrator, feeling down but often sensing the silver lining is on its way. "My name is Tristan, and I am alive!" declares the titular character almost against the elements. Alongside elements of Kurt Weill and Nick Cave, it's at these points that the comparisons to Kate Bush, whose Running Up That Hill he makes his own live, make perfect sense, both singular songwriters and compositionists who have the ability to weave intricacies out of situations and imagery sometimes well outside the usual spectrum.

LISTEN IN: The Libertine
EXTRA FEATURE: A typically cheery chat with Playlouder

Advent Calendar Of Music: Day 20

Freeland - Heel And Toe (Evil Nine remix)

Weren't expecting this, were you? To be honest we have no idea what Adam Freeland's original sounds like, but we like what the Brighton duo have slapped on top of it. Find it on Evil Nine's Y4K mix album

The only chart that counts (5/6)

There's a theme to these last two festive charts we've picked out, the most recent of all closing the run off on Thursday, but first:

1 Mr Blobby - Mr Blobby
What happened was three weeks earlier this had become the highest new entry ever by an act who'd never charted before at number three, then it climbed to number one, then got knocked off, then returned to everyone's surprise on the crest of a wave of parents buying an extra stocking filler. Jeremy Clarkson was in the video well before making an impact outside Top Gear, incidentally. "UK, male pink, yellow spotted blob vocalist" is his Guinness Book label.

2 Take That - Babe
The only That single that Sick Mark Owen sang lead on, one of only two in their recorded catalogue it says here. The previous week this had become the third of their eight number ones, and this put them off Christmas singles for life - even the remixed single off their Greatest Hits is out in February.

3 Chaka Demus and Pliers featuring Jack Radics and Taxi Gang - Twist And Shout
Apparently there was a craze in Jamaica for naming yourself after tools at the time. Their current status as a comedy name for nostalgia purposes notwithstanding, their success hastened a mini-summer of reggae in 1994 that was never likely to get Lee Perry shaking.

4 Bee Gees - For Whom The Bell Tolls
Don't remember this at all, but having released one record in the 80s the Gibbs made a habit throughout the 90s of having big hits every couple of years.

5 East 17 - It's Alright
Music to vomit jacket potatoes to, this was a typical slab of synth battering and wonky London rapping a year ahead of Stay Another Day. What did happen to Tony Mortimer's follow-up band Sub Zero?

6 Meatloaf - I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)
Or is it Meat Loaf? Did anyone ever work out for definite which it is? This had just spent seven weeks, or was it decades, at number one and was the year's biggest seller, coming from the inevitable Bat Out Of Hell II. All hail Meat's "sex and drums and rock'n'roll".

7 Dina Carroll - The Perfect Year
Nobody seems to remember Dina now but as we'll see again later she was huge for about six months at this time as she got caught between her dance music roots and big piano balladeering. This was never going to be released in June, was it?

8 Meat( )Loaf - Bat Out Of Hell
Because that's just what you'd do, isn't it, re-release the title track from the album you've just brought out as its follow-up.

9 Elton John and Kiki Dee - True Love
No Don't Go Breaking My Heart, although it is one of the most charted songs ever, having been made most famous by Bing Crosby and Grace Kelly. Win a pub quiz one day by mentioning Kiki's real name is Pauline Matthews. Whyever did she change it?

10 Frankie Goes To Hollywood - The Power Of Love
There's no obvious reason why this should have been re-released, but there you go. What did happen to their comeback with a specially auditioned new singer?

11 Bryan Adams - Please Forgive Me
Slow and laborious, as per, having stayed at number two for ages. Was it from the soundtrack to Zorro? The mind's eye says Bryan in a mask in the video, which is must the best way.

12 Peabo Bryson and Regina Belle - A Whole New World
Peabo, sir! He's had three UK top 40 singles but all with other people, this the theme from the Aladdin film. Seemed to be more ubiquitous than its position, this its peak, suggests.

13 K7 - Come Baby Come
"Swing batta batta batta batta batta swing!" File next to Luniz in the one hit and never likely to be any more rap hitmakers file.

14 M People - Don't Look Any Further
To think that Mike Pickering was a Hacienda house DJ, too. This is from their infamous Mercury winner Elegant Slumming, the album that enabled Shovell to start a seperate career of televisual boisterousness for years.

15 Janet Jackson - Again
One of a host of interchangeable mid-90s singles where she got stuck in a baladeering morass between Rhythm Nation feistiness and Scream renaissance. Moving on...

16 Dina Carroll - Don't Be A Stranger
The previous week this had been top ten as well as The Perfect Year, and there can't have been many occasions since where two consecutive charts have featured two different artists having two top ten singles at once. Her unofficial website's news page stops in November 2004, having had one entry in the previous six months.

17 Diana Ross - Your Love
And the next slushy ballad, please! Her previous single was a reissued Chain Reaction, whatever that might have been in aid of.

18 Mariah Carey - Hero
Third week in a row in this position, followed by two weeks of climbing. Were she to release something like this now it'd be hailed as a return to form. Or, if she's deemed to be on form at the moment, a new peak. Then it was just dull showing off.

19 Cliff Richard - Healing Love
Keeping quiet this year. Not even a Greatest Hits repackage.

20 Pet Shop Boys - I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind Of Thing
They'd just turned into the poet laureates of hi-energy and started wearing the big hats and radiation-esque suits, this the follow up to Go West. Neil Tennant came out at this time. Few were surprised. They're working with Trevor Horn on their next album. What took them so long to come round to that?

21 Ice-T - That's How I'm Livin'
Post-Cop Killer and Original Gangster, but this was his first top 40 single. We imagine he's concentrating on acting now, having nearly become the family friendly side of gangsta rap. We imagine Badass TV is buried deep within his CV.

22 Haddaway - I Miss You
23 EYC - Feelin' Alright
Ah, the early to mid 90s.

24 U2 - Stay (Faraway, So Close)/I've Got You Under My Skin
The latter was his duet with Frank Sinatra, the former the first single from Zooropa, five months after its release after changing their minds several times.

25 Shabba Ranks - Family Affair
26 Bad Boys Inc - Walking On Air

27 Doobie Brothers - Long Train Runnin'
What a pisspoor time this is if this sort of record was being randomly reissued. There may be people who don't know Jeff 'Skunk' Baxter is now one of the world's leading counterterrorism experts, but there's no harm in repetition.

28 Cypress Hill - I Ain't Goin' Out Like That

29 Hulk Hogan with Green Jelly - I'm The Leader Of The Gang
Yes. WWF was having one of its biennual spans of proper popularity, rubbish New York comedy metallers Green Jelly had had a summer hit with a cover of Three Little Pigs (James Hetfield and him out of Tool on backing vocals, allegedly) and less of one with a Flintstones-inspired cover Anarchy In The UK in the meantime. Hulk claimed that one of the B-sides was a tribute to James Bulger.

30 Lesley Garrett and Amanda Thompson - Ave Maria
You'll be resorting to this one day, Katherine Jenkins.

31 Blind Melon - No Rain
The immediate post-grunge years threw up some oddities - are we allowed to mention the Spin Doctors in polite company? - and here's two of them now, heroin-encrusted Beatles-esque types who ensured the Bee Girl is part of any future US VH-1 I Love The 90s - yes, they do have the rights...

32 Soul Asylum - Runaway Train
...and country-tinged Minneapolis earnest types chiefly remembered for Dave Pirner being Winona Ryder's ex and the video to this featuring the details of missing children, keeping it in the top 40 for about six months. Tommy Stinson from the Replacements is in them these days, it says here.

33 Michael Jackson - Gone Too Soon
What's going on here? It got no higher than this, but then it was a) right on the back of the Jordy Chandler allegations and b) the ninth single from Dangerous.

34 Bjork - Big Time Sensuality

35 Snoop Doggy Dogg - What's My Name
"Rap will never sell in the massive quantities it does in America, making the reign of Snoop Doggy Dogg as short and sweet as all the rest" says the contemporary chart review we're working off. Well, they weren't to know. The jokes, of course, wrote themselves.

36 Nirvana - All Apologies/Rape Me
Their last single and second from In Utero, which to be fair was never exactly going to be their great pop crossover.

37 Saint Etienne - I Was Born On Christmas Day
Here's a song you never hear even at this time of year, Sarah duetting with Tim Burgess in a song inspired by Bob Stanley being, well, born on Christmas Day. The corresponding tour featured Oasis as support. Imagine that clash.

38 Village People - YMCA (remix)
Bloody hell.

39 UB40 - Bring Me Your Cup

40 Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You
This had been 1992's festive leader in the middle of a nine week run at the top, and with The Bodyguard out on video it was shoved out again. Go on, do you remember anything about The Bodyguard?

Albums Of The Year: Number 13

The temptation has always been to dismiss British Sea Power as a band too clever for their own good. Witness here the liner quote from Czech surrealist novelist Bohumil Hrabal, the recent joint 7" with the Wurzels, the sets that traditionally close with a part-improvised song called Rock In A which incorporates crash gymnastics, fighting an eight foot tall bear and essentially mayhem, and the way Open Season contains a song called Oh Larsen B, named after a melted polar ice shelf, and just so you don't get confused opens "you're fractured and cold, but your heart is unbroken/my favourite foremost coastal Antarctic shelf". Yet here's the punchline: it's a gorgeous in its own way song that could be about love or desperation (or a melted polar ice shelf, of course) and still fits "desalinate" into the chorus perfectly. Such is the reality of British Sea Power.

The biggest change since The Decline Of British Sea Power is while that album often sounded like Echo and the Bunnymen engaging in ultimate cage fights with the Pixies, Open Season took face value inspiration from nature and matches it with songs that bring out the melodic heart lurking at the core of those earlier songs behind the effects pedals and general air of dissonance. There's an epic quality coming to the fore now too, boosting songs at almost the precise moment they start to bland out and generally rewarding further plays as the hidden depths start to break through the surface calmness that led some to dismiss it as an airbrushing of their natural dissonance. The old Bunnymen/Furs/Bowie standard issue comparisons still have a ring of truth, but this time there's a veneer of late Smiths and the Northern windswept ballpark guarded by Doves and Elbow. Oh, and if you're at all worried, they still drape the amps in foliage, Eamon still makes off into the audience during Lately and they still depart a stage like nobody else.

LISTEN IN: Oh Larsen B
EXTRA FEATURE: They still give good interview, like this one with Gothamist

Advent Calendar Of Music: Day 19

Guillemots - Made Up Love Song #43

It makes four seperate attempts at starting properly, finds a niche in bright if lovelorn indiepop as we used to know it while trying not to accidentally set off more effects, then gets distracted by its own beat just as it enters modern Beach Boys territory. They're going to be that kind of band. From the I Saw Such Things In My Sleep EP

Albums Of The Year: Number 14

Not that anyone could surely be surprised by its attitude these days, but the NME couldn't have dropped the ball any more conclusively this year then when they spent half of the already small live review of the New Pornographers' first ever London show riffing on how they'd only gone because they expected naked ladies to be there. (Well, there are partly unclothed photos of Neko Case floating about, but let that pass.) A month earlier Carl Newman reckoned "it's really cool that the NME has become less powerful". Fair enough, but it does mean this gloriously power-poppy album has disappeared under the national radar again.

Twin Cinema is the point at which the - hang on, New Pornographers review contractual obligation ahead - Canadian indie supergroup took a hard look at their Big Star/Rubinoos/Beach Boys leanings and decided it was time to take them as far as they could. The results would surely find a welcoming home in most houses that value their hook-laden proper pop as it used to be, but now there's stirrings of a darkness previously hinted at in Carl Newman and Case's solo works, if without the overbearing AOR aspects of both. The Jessica Numbers makes like the Who before making a last ditch attempt for a place on Funeral's tracklisting, while Neko's big chance this time comes on These Are the Fables, a melancholic strummer interrupted by Crosby, Stills and Nash rehearsing next door. Clearly these are also people who know their way around a studio, liberally sprinkling these songs with Nuggets sonic trickery and odd little musical touches. You know how sometimes we all talk about bands who we say could be huge if anyone noticed them? The New Pornographers might be exhibit A.

LISTEN IN: Sing Me Spanish Techno
EXTRA FEATURE: A briefish history